database ~

1st paper is over ... yeah...

welcome the 4 more papers o.o

i will not let u all defeat de !

put horse come here ba xD

broken english anywhere ~ lols...

anyways ~

珍惜现在。。

活在当下。。

lala..

o.o lala didn't back bentong together with me...
why ? not so sure... ><...
yuan lai gt so much thing happened last week...
today not end of the world.. o.o
the counter on the right shows..
we already together 500 days le...
it passes really fast o.o
we hav taste almost all sweet sour bitter spicy xD..
thanks god u're still with me...
thanks for not leaving... 
this time back bentong... o.o
honestly... i m not so mad anymore.. but still got miss u xD
maybe not sem break yet the feel not so strong xD...
lets wait n c whats happen when sem break... lols...
this is my 无聊 post xD..
donno u will see or not also xD...
im just release out wat my heart told me.. from time to time.. hehe..
u asked me to slp just now O.O..
gg... still playing hp... LOL...
i know u worry about my health...
who wish to have a gf full of sick..lol...
i should take care myself well.. @@
recall back last week.. lol..
what happen actually ? how can it be so @@...
when too care about someone... human will really gone mad...
will become too sensitive...
watever he do.. watever he talk..
even the face expression also can affects u... so terrible @@
this is wat called love.. lol...
and this 'sensitive' will lead to thinking extra unnecessary things... lol...
so.. another war begin.. TT...
Carol ah Carol... last year until now.. y still cant improve... haiz
why i was born to be so sensitive..
why am i so easily affected...
why am i so emotional... @@
lol.. appreciate wat i have...
至少我的人生有过刻骨铭心的一次。。
不过，我不想有第二次。。lol..

2012 o.o

end of the world ?
don't think so..
and it cannot be end
without finish spending my life with u !
reminder again ..
must treat u better..
must treat u more better...
must treat u more and more better... xD
that's it ~

...

突然发现这个。。T___T

lol

we didn't argue..
we only have cold wars...
sorry ba..
it's my fault again..
should have treat u like what i always remind myself..
Chiew Carol, are u forgetting what you've said?
......
stupid Carol..
i hate u

what can i do # #

how come ?
why am i emo suddenly lol..
again.. i proof it..
after i get angry..
i will really cry.. ><
it's not angry..maybe it's sad..
i just wan peace.. TT

why u say wan leave ?
why u say wan kick ?

i don like argument ><
and there is never fair in this world..

if it's really related to my health..
okay i stop helping..
i'm tired of being good...
let me be bad person once...
sorry.... TT

468 ~

468 days le !!
be cherish of what we have...
do not think those that will make us far apart..
i will not leave u as long as u hold on to me.. # #
whatever issue is not an issue as long as love exists..
indulge urself as u are in fairy tale.. it's not fake..

i ♥ you for who u are now ...
i do not expect u to change better..
and until now...every moment spent with u..
is still a moment i treasure.. TT
i will really sad if u continue to think that way TT

i will not mind any of ur thing..
include status, result etc..
at least for now i didn't mind at all... ><
trust me, we will achieve happiness if u ignore all those..
good night.. ><

app in store xD

after waited for a week.. @@
our app finally released in windows store xD
another first time gone ... o.o
1st time publishing app to the public xD
seems normal but for me...
it's quite exciting... O.O

hmmm... let's see... xD
still got how many first time in life ?
1st time travel alone?
1st time own a house?
1st time get a real job?
1st time get kid? LOL
1st time sell an app?

whatever.. appreciate the 1st time..xD
as it only exists once a life time !!
just like.... first time paktor? xDDDD
after all, still thanks to my dear ♥
i super super ♥ him de !!!

haiz...

dear a... sorry for being emo again... 

this few days i'm sure i got something wrong.. >< 

kept on making cold war happens.. 

sometimes suddenly emo without any reason..lols..

why i have to behave like this ...

stupid carol .. # # 

is it that i forget i have to treat u better.. ><

sorry to make u speechless... ><

sorry to make u fed up.. # #

i can feel that u are unhappy when i starting 

to behave like that... lols...

i should not always think too much...

but i cannot stop thinking too much

bcoz i was borned to be like this.. ><

i tried to think positively always...

but it's just for temporary @@

my mood go up and down without any reason..

sudden happy and sudden sad.. ><

perhaps i'm too stress >< ...

should say i make myself stress.. lols..

i'm not pessimistic ... 

i just cant lose u ...

i'm too afraid to lose u... TT

i have so many problems.. 

cannot be solved..

i emo becoz i scare that my stupid problem 

will take u away from me.. ><

i didn't unhappy with what u did...

whenever u ask me whether i 不爽..

i only afraid that u will 不爽..

i scare 1 day u really fed up on me..

and i will GG.. lols...

see... i'm no confident at all...

even after 1 year i'm still so coward..

i donno wth i scare.. ><

but i know 1 thing..

i still ♥ u so much... TT

untitled ~

我又回来了。。这个记载着我的点点滴滴的地方。。从平平淡淡没有你的时侯。。到平平淡淡有你的时侯。。lols。。有事没事，只要有mood就会来这里打一下键盘。。说一些废话。。那样以后的我就会知道现在的我到底是怎么样的。。想些什么。。做了什么。。O.O 试过去看回之前写的东东。。就会想 “为什么那时会那样想叻？” o.o 可能每过一段日子。。想法就会不一样了呱。。之前觉得可以在TARC那么大间的学院读书很爽。。来到之后。。才发现。。大未必是好。。每天从宿舍走去学校就够我怕了吧。。LOL。。所以。。很多美好的事物都是表面的。。O.O 可是。。就算是不美好的事物。。也要学会接受。。for example。。人人都喜欢俊男美女。。难倒不俊不美的就该跳楼了吗。。><。。这个，只是例子。。xD。。人家女生没病没痛。。我每天痛死自己。。难倒我又要跳楼了？lols。。ridiculous。。所以。。认命吧 carol。。至少还要痛多30年。。＝＝。。下午那两个小时。。真的是生不如死啊。。弹来弹去。。冒冷汗。。lol。。真想把自己打晕。。所以一直撞墙壁。。@@。。可是fail了。。haiz。。。幸好panadol药力一个钟后终于有了作用。。不然我可能真的去跳楼了。。现在又来痛了。。@@。。痛的是我。。所以我怕。。痛的不是他们。。不是妈妈。。就算多担心。。也feel不到我有多痛。。><。。所以。。不需要告诉全世界自己有多痛。。因为他们不是不帮你。。而是他们感觉不到。。只有插在自己身上的针，才会感觉到那种痛。。T__T。。哭吗？刚才痛到流眼泪。。妈妈说。。“big girl no cry liao, baby come out also pain, must learn to tahan pain...” lols。。所以就不哭咯。。小小痛楚都忍不了，如何生仔？haiz。。好遥远的梦想。。生不到会怎样？又跳楼吗？LOL。。我除了跳楼好像没有其他东西了＝＝。。。whatever。。是时侯做功课了。。haiz。。。

制公仔！LOL

给姐姐的xD

不知何时何日，突然有感而发。。想学缝公仔。。O.O 其实很久很久之前就想学了，只是那时没有机会。。也没有找到材料 >< 最近上网看到原来那种布叫着 “felt” 。。yes。。对自己感兴趣的东西，我都会很积极的去实现，无论有多难 xD。。所以当天就去外面tbr找。。过后又去jusco找。。竟然找不到？！LOL。。不过第二天就找到了。。谢谢你带我去买 ♥ 过后也买了棉花。。xD。。可以做很多小东西了！为了做这些，我竟然把功课耽搁了 @@。。所以昨晚搞到半夜才开始做tutorial。。厉害叻？>< 。。或许这个只是starting。。之后就不会那么积极了吧。。~__~。。也对。。我这种三分钟热度的家伙。。haiz。。不过还是希望这个兴趣可以持久。。就好像写日记那样。。xD。。原本是想学用粘土弄东西的。。之后想想下。。算了吧。。还没成功那个粘土就会变水土了吧。。＝＝。。缝布就不同了。。湿也不会怎样。。还是照样可以完成产品。。xDD。。我的人生。。终于开始有了。。除了电脑以外的乐趣。。lols。。恭喜恭喜 ^_^ 你说。。我终于开始做女生做的事。。LOL。。放心。。之后陆续有来。。xD。。人生不能只有死读书。。偶尔也要有属于自己的乐趣。。xD。。虽然会很累。。不过我觉得自己变充实了。。而不是每天漫无目的的过着行尸走肉的生活。。O.O。。

哥哥的礼物

我的第一个！xD

 不过。。每当想到未来。。我就有点 @@ 。。LOL。。要长大。。结婚。。生孩子。。顾孩子。。做工。。@@ 好远 LOL。。有点想永远就留在青少年这个期间。。读书。。吃喝玩乐。。LOL。。不用忧虑如何赚钱。。以后就不一样了。。><。。but这个过程是每个人必经之路。。lols。。人到了不同的阶段。。责任和扮演的角色也就不一样了。。小时候只需要哭和玩。。大一点就开始读书。。也是玩。。现在也是读书。。玩。。还有策划以后的路要怎样走。。><。。学你说的。。“到时才看啦” 。。xD。。就顺其自然咯。。因为我对我的未来真的一片茫然。。~___~。。现在每天只有建隆，吃，睡，tutorial，assignment。。再加多一个。。缝玩具。。LOL。。可能还有电话电脑。。xD。。anyways。。路还是要照走。。只是看是怎么走。。我会不会走出一条开心的路呢？O.O。。不过，健康还是我最大的遗憾。。><。。人家这个岁数应该健健康康。。我呢。。胃痛！？。。lols。。和妈妈出去。。那些aunty听到我有胃痛。。就说。。yam gong咯，那么年轻就胃痛。。><。。怎样过一世哦。。lols。。（后面那句是我自己加的 xD。。）后悔小时候每天早上不喜欢吃面包。。后悔偷偷在去学校的路上把面包丢掉。。><。。不过后悔莫及了。。LOL。。我其实不是不吃。。只是早上6am。。谁都没有胃口吧。。可是为什么那时我不逼一下自己呢。。haiz。。现在想不吃都不能了。。胃痛会使人疯狂。。LOL。。人就是要等到事情发生后才会觉悟。。大家都一样。。只是发生的是不同的事情。。><。。一个人胃痛。。搞到全部人为我担忧。。多么不好受啊。。妈妈是最担心的。。不知花了多少钱买药、补品给我吃。。><。。每天都怕我会痛。。其实我自己才怕啊。。因为痛的是我。。@@。。明明有吃。。也要给我 “爽” 一下。。吃饱了。。也要high一下。。3个小时过后。。再来刺激一下。。lols。。不是常人能忍受的吧。。每次都这样迟早会奔溃。。@@。。所以一定要根治！吃啊。。一定要吃。。你也是很care我。。每天都会要我吃东西。。谢谢♥。。全部人都对我好。。还不快点好起来？！还是那一句。。顺其自然吧。。~__~。。btw。。到夜深人静的时侯。。我又来了。。那该死的罪恶感又出来作祟。。TT。。有时在你面前也会突然想起。。那不该想的事。。haiz。。要怎样才可以消除这个污点？><。。就算再怎样投入自己的兴趣，一停下来。。什么都回到原状。。TT。。我还是那个表面开朗，内心多愁善感的那个双重性格的人。。会突然开心。。突然很伤心。。突然正经。。突然。。。lols。。。又来痛了！！因为半夜不睡觉啦。。讲死都不听。。lols。。现在就去睡了。。xD。。与其杞人忧天，不如什么都不要想倒头大睡。。xD。。晚安咯。。♥

wa..

突然很想念之前的自己，写blog可以写那么长，有1000个字以上！今天就来试试下，看看有没有超过预期中的字数。为什么心血来潮要这样叻？应该是看了某某朋友的blog呱。。xD。。她就好像以前的我。。写很长很长哦。。@@。。hmmm.. 要写些什么东东叻？学业。。？Year 2 Sem 2 了咯。。全部科目的难度提升到level 3。。@@。。听lecturer说可不简单哦。。所以又要加倍努力了。。希望成绩可以保持。。^^。。不过这个学期的老师都很。。。不知该怎么说。。LOL。。就用 “很难满足” 来形容吧。。我们的答案好像永远都无法达到他们的要求 @@。。所以要尽量满足他们～ anyways。。可以上学读书是件值得庆幸的事。。很多人想要也未必可以啊。。所以我又时时刻刻提醒自己。。凡事都要珍惜。。不要等到失去才来后悔。。><。。小舅舅帮我们不是必然的。。一定不能让人家失望。。也不能辜负妈妈。。o.o。。Assignment又来了咯。。完全不知道怎么开始。。><。。不过还是要逼出output。。对不对？college的assignment全部都是拿来逼学生交出意想不到的output。。发挥我们的潜力？LOL。。所以很多时侯把我们搞到如同行尸走肉～ 很累的也！每一个科目都有assignment。。而且due date通常都会和Test相撞。。在week 7 week 8或是week10 week11。。不然就会有presentation。。所以，想不死都难啊。。。上个学期已经度过了不是人过的时期。。Year 2果然不是盖的。。lols。。无论如何，有挑战是好事。。学业就告一段落吧。。至于家庭呢。。一切都还好吧。。大家相安无事。。兄弟姐妹和睦相处。。lols。。妈妈也很好。。姐姐生日要到咯。。前天和她庆祝了。。吃steamboat。。哥哥生日也要到了。。o.o。。妈妈明天就来帮他们两个庆祝。。爸爸？lols。。no comment。。 xD。。anyways。。可以成为家人也是得来不易。。下一世也未必有机会了。。><。。我们一定要好好爱惜自己的家人。。♥。。无论多错都得原谅。。agree？to agree or not, it depends on our thinking... LOL..巴不得妈妈里面的名句都被我引用了。。呵呵。。交际呢？最近对人对事都有不同的看法了，对人的态度也在慢慢改变。。希望人缘会变好？LOL。。要谦虚谦虚。。朋友虽然少，也不能忽略。。可以帮到就帮帮下吧。。无论是学业上还是生活上的问题。。xD。。人，就是要经历些tragedy。。才会长大。。才会反省。。才会学乖。。我，学乖了吗？perhaps。。hehe。。说说健康吧。。身体真的很多问题哦。。有时会突然很讨厌自己，因为这边又痛那边又有问题。。><。。要来的始终会来。。避也避不了。。@@。。所以啊。。carol。。面对现实吧。。出汗是我一身最大的困扰。。从小到大，我都很怕和人家有肢体的接触。。因为自己会出汗。。小学体育课时，老师叫我们手牵手围圆圈。。我不敢牵 LOL。。有时不小心动到朋友。。他们还会骂我。。“yiii。。你手湿湿就不要动我啦！”。。很hurt的一句话。。lols。。可是，我想的吗？天生的也。。将心比心，假如你是当事人，说法就不一样了。。对不对？这个叫“针没刺到肉不知道痛。。” >< 。。与其埋怨朋友，倒转过来我就埋怨自己。。恨自己为什么是这样的。。可是有用吗？汗还是照出。。水还是照流。。考试纸还是照样湿 >< 。。所以。。我看开了咯。。xD。。上台拿奖是最刺激的。。拼命的擦干那个手。。才上去拿。。可是每次到台上也是湿了。。颁奖的那个人和我握手后脸色立刻变了。。LOL。。no choice。。我不是有心的。。用电脑也是一样。。一下子整个keyboard变成游泳池。。电话也逃不过这一劫。。＝＝。。虽然如此。。也不能怨天尤人。。不能怪妈妈。。妈妈生我出来已经盖过一切了。。难道她不希望自己的孩子是十全十美的吗。。><。。所以，最终的结论就是。。做手术？OMG。。不要。。xD。。我就喜欢出汗。。反正不接受也得接受。。o.o。。乐观一点吧。。可是，胃痛就不能乐观了！！因为是自己照成的。。解铃还需系铃人。。要康复就要靠自己。。我真的有在改啊。。每天都一定要吃。。只是早餐来不及吃。。><。。可是早餐是一天里面最重要的。。我竟然没当一回事。。LOL。。太坏了。。说到吃。。我也有尝试吃鱼。。螃蟹。。牛肉了。。xD。。要学会做一个不挑食的宝宝。。才会人见人爱。。LOL。。那天吃steamboat竟然是我19年来第一次吃螃蟹的脚 LOL.. 很可笑吗？whatever。。千里之行，始于足下。。我相信我一定可以的。。到最后可能我还会教自己的孩子不要挑食。。hehe。。健康就这样咯。。没有大病。。只是sem break是去了医院很多次。。被插了很多针。。抽了不少血。。。痛痛哦。。不想痛就要好好照顾自己。。><。。improving～ 说了那么多废话，有1000字了吗？LOL。。不知道。。日记也不能写那么长吧。。可是我每天都一定会写。。因为这个是承诺。。说到就要做到。。！不能欺骗你啊。。因为我发现。。瞒住你会让自己更加痛苦。。生不如死。。lols。。所以，一定要坦白。。爱情这回事，绝对不能有欺骗。。><。。可是真正做到的人又有几个呢？。。haiz。。遗憾来了。。多乐观也掩饰不了自己所做过的错事。。><。。每一次想到这个。。我又来了。。emo。。><。。讨厌自己啊。。虽然你已经没有再提过。。可是不代表没发生过。。你只是不想我又不开心。。又乱乱想。。><。。T__________T。。haiz。。没用的我啊。。竟然还有那么好的你在我身边。。♥ 所以那句歌词是对的！“You're just too good to be true..” 意即你好得好像不是真实的。。lols。。所以。。还是要谢谢你。。亲爱的。。><。。每一次看着你。。很开心也很内疚啊。。@@ 。。所以就会笑。。苦笑。。LOL。。这个是什么歪理。。@@。。开心因为有你在。。内疚。。明白的吧。。lols。。。anyways。。 为了报答你。。就要尽最大的努力对你好咯。。♥。。我要爱你到 “8" (调转来看 :p）... xDD okay啦。。来算算有几个字。。xD。。

2197 words ^^ 。。达到预期的数字了。。hehe。。

啦啦。。

要专心读书咯。。
也要尽量的开心。。
不要每天伤心了吧。。
要让自己开心。。
那么身边的人也会开心。。
hehe...
i ♥ u dear... xD

@@

简单就好。。

开心就好。。

class ~

class is started ~
back to busy life ><
hope i can let go..
but i cant made it... # #
what can i do ? ><

kill me please ^^

yer

tell me..
how can it be so freaking pain...
#__#

result

成绩终于露面了。。
每过一个sem。。
就更迟出成绩。。><
12.45pm 才check到呢。。
等待的心情真的很不安。。
又期望又担心。。><

知道成绩后。。
是震惊了一下。。
然后就没有什么了。。
没有到处宣传。。
只和家人说。。

人家问我。。
全部都草草回答。。
敷衍带过。。@@
不想再让自己令你不喜欢。。

每天还会无端端想回。。
那些荒唐的事情。。><
还是放不下。。很内疚。。# #

原来。。
成绩和人格完全不符合。。
所以。。你问我。。
“终于拿到这种成绩开心吗”
不会开心。。><

原来。。
开心比成绩还重要。。# #
更重要的是。。
你开心。。><

lala

hmm.. recording is here xD

long long speech ><

password ? u will know it.. O.O

^^

thanks so much dear ... ♥
i will be good de ><

# #

最近翻开日记看到。。
里面全部都是 TT 。。
越看越心酸。。><
就算没事都会变有事。。

所以，从今以后。。
不要再写 TT 了！！
全部可以写 TT 的地方。。
将会变成 # # ... LOL..

那么下次看回的时候。。
才不会流泪。。lols。。

终于让我梦想成真。。
回来宿舍了。。><
越靠近你就越想你。。# #
为什么会想你？
为什么不是想妈妈？
# # ..

因为还在怕。。
我怕怕怕。。
只会怕。。
ｓｔｕｐｉｄ！
#_________#

T__T

这下好了。。
我们这些没用的孩子。。
伤透妈妈的心了。。
她说要跳楼了。。
T__T

orange room ~

o.o really so orange...
can feel the sorrow in the eyes ? ><
lols... cheer up carol... !!
back to the optimistic carol pls.. ><

wan & don wan..

i wan to back hostel.. ><
but don wan open school.. TT

i wan to meet u.. ><
but don wan to meet unhappy de u..

i wan to stop being emo... TT
but don wan to pretend nothing happen...

i wan myself to disappear... ><
but i don wan to suicide... TT

i wan to talk to u...
but don wan to make u hate me...

i wan to back to normal... TT
but y cannot ? ><

fish

13 months O.O
time passes so fast @@
but miss rate still didn't decrease ><
what to do ? ><
lala?

today only realized...
i only have 5 more days in bentong...
it's just like a blink of eye ><
and so many things had occur ><

anyways, fact is already fact..
cannot be change or edit TT
focus on tomorrow...
rmb the mistake & the pain.. ><
improve please carol... lols...

>< don so cool... TT

@@

2 more hours ><

Q_Q

o.o found it in the store today...
trigger out the memories between u and me again ><
every piece i ate i will think about the moment with u ><
miss u so much... TT

below is the diary of the day o.o ...

o.o

still got 10 days ++ more... lols..
but i not dare to count down..
coz afraid to meet u.. ><

afraid that everything will not be the same..
let's think positively O.O

hmmm...
good luck carol..

pain pain..

肚子痛了一整天。。TT
一开始是胃痛。。
之后痛到右下腹。。@@
盲肠炎。。？><
要开刀的wor。。><
我不要 T__T

看看明天会怎样。。
假如没有上网。。
应该是有事发生了。。lols..

haiz...累人累物的我。。TT
auntie说。。
男人不会要你了。。
那么多病痛。。TT

我应该也要有自知之明了吧。。T___T

btw.. i miss u so much.. TT
how horrible is that if i died...
without spending the rest of my life with u...
it will be the biggest regret ever...><

@@

when can i let go..
this miserable life.. ><
i miss u so much..
but i can't afford to tell u..
u are so busy.. ><
i'm not qualify to do so.. TT
我不配 ... ><

Every moment spent with u..
is a moment i treasure.. TT
i miss them so much...
those happy moments...
i afraid i don't have the chance anymore.. TT

how i wish my life would just end.. ><

lol

每天都要胃痛+泻。。TT
不是普通的上厕所。。TT
就快归天了吧。。><
还有好多事没做呢。。TT
我的kx都还没出世。。><

wuuu...

pain pain go away ... TT

~

i will...
i must...
TT

lala

finally got shape.. not ball anymore...

new diary o.o

work..

worked for 2 days le...
still feel so blank...
brain is empty lols...
the guy keep talk to me..
i just listen n nod head ~
bcoz there's nothing to do..><
how to pass 9.30 hours ><

emo already past ~
but it's not over.. ><
there's still something.. ><
can felt it ofcourse.. ><
whatever ~
optimistic ma.. ><

cure?

止痛药在哪里。。TT
生理和心理都很痛。。TT
原以为你说要来真的会开心。。
是的。。的确很开心。。
不过。。只是短暂的。。TT

悲伤并没有因此而停止。。
我真是无能。。haiz。。
看来只有自救才有用。。
可是，我要救自己吗？TT

那个伤口就等于炸弹。。
一触即发。。TT
只需要无意的一句话。。
haiz。。可以停止悲观吗？
试一试吧。。><

人要往好的方面想。。
我会的。。TT

还是要谢谢你。。
我的错竟然变成你道歉。。
你对我太好了。。
我竟然不懂珍惜。。TT
对不起。。建隆。。
辛苦你了。。TT。。

o.o

pain pain go away ~

new number..

bought a new hp number..
things can change..
but heart cannot.. TT
whatever i did still remain..TT

ytd night still cried..
what the hell so nice to cry?
i donno.. TT
i realised whenever i cried
gastric pain will occur..><
it's so suffer.. @@

time will solve everything..
let's wait and see... TT

went to comic shop just now..
the auntie asked me to work..
she said start on tomorrow..><
11am until 8.30pm everyday..
until 15 september.. lols..

maybe it's good for me..
instead of crying everyday or do nonsense..
let me try to calm down myself.. ><

i still felt so sorry for u...TT
but nothing i could do...TT
just hope that u are fine.. ><
although u not fine.. TT

...

pain..

it's so painful... T_____T
i have never been like this ever..

知错认错又能怎么样。。
这个世界是残酷的。。TT

whenever i'm able to sleep..
i wish that i will never wake up anymore..
T_____T...

but it is impossible..><
u were suffering too.. but urs is worse..
i donno what can i do to relief ur pain..
i can only cry.. i only know cry..
how stupid am i... TT

how good if u have never ever met me..
u wont have such stupid gf..
u wont have to suffer..cry...stun...TT
it's all my fault...

i scare that i can't stand it anymore..TT
day by day my 罪恶感 increase..TT
can i tahan until open school ? TT
i donno...

TT

我受不了了。。T___T。。
失眠到很离谱。。T__T
10pm开始睡。。
每个小时被自己惊醒。。
一醒就哭。。TT
为什么会这样的？？TT
已经5次了。。TT
为什么一直发梦到那些？TT
我就快崩溃了。。TT..
原来真的不能失去你。。TT
but what can i do TT
tell me pls... TT

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GG..

...

抽血。。很痛。。
真相。。更痛。。
我亲手断送了自己的未来。。
做了自己也过不了自己的过错。。
挣扎了好久终于告诉你。。T__T
因为真的太痛苦了。。

又一次让你彻底的失望了。。
我太离谱了。。T___T。。
对不起有用吗？

没有！！

没脸见你了。。
我不配。。
你很痛，我知道。。
我更痛。。T__T

sticky

woots.. sticky with your name on it.. xD special
RM15 is still okay.. O.O 1 year once ma..

but why i so care about the flow of money?
hmm.. every time i eat i will feel guilty LOL..
although my mum ask me to eat more.. @@
maybe it's not the money i earn myself ~ haiz...
Carol ah... pls grow up faster and earn money for own !!

btw.. able to go out and date with u was one of the happiest & enjoyful moment ever ~ xD

i'm full of smile whole day xD can felt it deep in my heart xD although walking for so long journey would be tired, but it's all worth ~ coz it's with u..

Every moment spent with u, is a moment I treasure ^^

we went to book fest.. it's so crowded O.O people moutain people sea LOL...

wanted to buy book... but wait.. the money will gone fast O.O forget about it ..

I rather to used the money on food LOL.. when I become so "counting-mind" TT

walk and walk for so long time xD ... i keep on shouting here pain there pain ~ hmm

troublesome girl obviously ~ no choice, it's not what I want TT

it's raining O.O we walk to pavilion and then to timesquare.. 

planning to eat BBQ plaza ~ things weren't go as smooth as what we tot ~

the BBQ Plaza is full of people and they said they're closed ... yerrr...

then? marry brown LOL... ate chicken rice... O.O so cold de chicken.. lols

went to lowyat... bought a new SONY pendrive ~ 16GB RM31.. O.O

time to back wangsa maju ~ TT time passes so fast ~ 1 day is over soon ~

u said still got dinner LOL... then u fetch me to wangsa walk to eat Little Wok.. xD

夺命追魂call came le.. keep asking me at where ~ LOL... 

back to hostel lo... stay in the car.. i see u.. u see me LOL

1 yr over already y u still so leng zai xD.. but i'm down ~

the feeling of sad came again TT because of sem break lols...

viewing back my diary.. i realize every time before sem break i also behave like this...

seems like every time also feel like crying... what the hell so nice to cry leh @@

i also donno xD... cannot meet then cannot meet la... LOL...

maybe this is what called mad ~ yes... i'm still mad... 

i'm really glad that i'm still mad ... LOL... bcoz i still love u ♥

i afraid that i have lost the feeling towards u... ">__<"

so.. this is a good sign ? isn't it ? xDDD

yea... 3 more day to exam.. last paper ^^

must study hard and don let myself down ah... xD

but I know friday i will definitely wont be happy... 

coz it's really last day ~ after that have to wait 3 weeks TT

wuuuu... 不好玩的。。

same question come to my mind again...

how am I gonna pass through this hardship (the 3 weeks) LOL...

not sure ~ let it be.. everything is gonna be alright ~ xD

treat it as a training ba... for myself... not to be too dependent on u.. O.O

lalala... finally.. hope that u will be fine throughout the 3 weeks ~

stay healthy and happy ^^ i won't leave u so easily like what u dream of de xD

knowing that u cried bcoz of me is so uncomfortable ~ o.o

but also knew that .. 原来失去我.. 你会那么伤心 O.O

so.. so.. so... i won't leave u la.. as what i've wrote before.. xD

i won't be the one that say bb first xD 

i will stay beside u as long as u need me ♥

hopefully u will be the same also... then we will become 老公公老婆婆 xD

panda ~

woots... my panda bag xD...
finally the OS test is over... O.o
sooo tired @@.. but feel released xD..
8 more days to go for last paper...
pls work harder and don let myself regret..
btw... thanks dear ^^ for accompany whole day xD...
love u always n appreciate every moment spent with u...
we will last long xDD...
becoz my feeling for u has came back...
last few weeks... or perhaps this few month i kept of thinking nonsense..
i felt that im so cool to u... @@
i thought something gonna be happen...
luckily there is ntg happen... xD..
although there were some weird n sad moment...where i felt so uncomfortable n tired...
but at last... i realise that it was just illusion... xD
im still the carol that love u that mad..xD
u treat me so good n yet i kept think of nonsense... so sorry for that O.O
although we didnt really argue before...but cold war always happened.. o.o
i don like such thing to be happen but to prevent argue..no choice @@
1 yr really passes so fast ~ im really touch coz u rmb the promise to chg the status... xD thats the moment i realized i still love u so much.. n the feeling of love not getting lesser but growing stronger o.o...
just that i tried to hide it deep in my heart...
there is some days where i kept blame myself for this n that.. its actually still lack of confident o.o
as a girl n also a very sensitive girl, i very care how u will treat me...
maybe i thought that the way u treat me now is different from before.. so i worried lols...
but actually these are just normal thing..
u r just the one u used to be.. ofcouse after 1 yr everything become normal...
its me myself the stupid mind that think too much ~
so... really sorry dear...
u care me so much ... kept asking me to slp n rest more...
bring me to eat always...
n sometimes purposely bring mi for breakfast.... i appreciate it so much.. xD..
no one can ever do that to me except family.. treat me so good for no reason..
n u r the one...
i always know that its not neccessary for someone to treat u good.. so when it occurs... pls appreciate it carol xD...
dont let myself regret... xD

so... after 1 yr... i still wan to say... thanks for every single thing u hv done for me...
i will always love u, before..now..n ever... my dear kian leong xD

cheers ~

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考试～

一下子就考了2个paper。。 LOL
时间也过得太快了吧。。xD
今天总算可以relax一下了 O.O
下个星期二考Java @@
预测看我几时会开始读书？LOL

hmm。。i guess should be sunday。。xD
whatever ~ let's wait and see ^^

long long time didn't use english to express my thoughts..
although it's much easier to type than chinese ~
but  sometimes it cannot bring out what i really want xD
anyways... what have I done today ? O.O
moviessss xDD

it's because as someone said..
we should enjoy life ~ xD
YES.. i learnt how to enjoy.. from u xD
but why time passes so fast ? ">__<"
many thing to be done but haven't start ~

don't care ~~
time to sleep.. xD
good night my dear ♥

一年了 ♥♥♥

终于一年咯 xD
你问我下一个目标是几年？
我说。。forever。。xDD

建隆，我爱你，好爱你 ♥
Every moment spent with you,
is a moment I treasure ^^

八月了。。

又来到八月了！
八月对我来说都蛮有回忆的。。
因为去年的八月。。
就改变了我接下来的日子 xD
还有三天就一年了。。xD

去年的这个时候。。
我每天都面带笑容。。LOL
总之想到你就会傻笑。。
坠入情网的象征 xD
连自己都觉得自己mad了～

现在回想都觉得有些幼稚 LOL
不过这种feel不是每个人都给到的吧。。
毕竟一生只有一个第一次。。
怎样都会傻一次，笨一次吧 LOL
hmm...值得回忆。。

一个月。。两个月。。
半年。。一年。。
一下子就过去了也。。
甜酸苦辣全部都taste过了。。xD
接下来没有热恋了咯。。
要靠的只有。。
真正想要在一起的两个人。。O.O
so。。一起加油吧。。xD

和一年前一样。。
我要和你长长久久！
执子之手，与子偕老。。
一起生仔，组织家庭 xDD
我要生个leng zai。。LOL
遗传你的大眼睛 xDD
名字一定要叫 kx ！！
leng lui叻？不知道。。
乖巧懂事就好。。xD

这一年里面。。
假如做了很多令你不开心的事
请多多原谅。。">___<"
毕竟人都会有缺点。。
我会improve自己的！

当然。。还是要谢谢你。。
谢谢你陪我度过那么。。
美好、兴奋、有趣的一年。。♥

没得救了。。

Chiew Carol。。
你越来越烦了。。
越来越令自己讨厌了
可以不要再幼稚吗？
我恨我自己。。
T____T

我用了一个星期来想
到底我最近发什么神经
为什么可以忽冷忽热？
为什么无端端emo？
找不到答案。。

今天。。
我严重的生气了。。
气什么？
不知道。。
无理取闹的生气。。
很幼稚是不是。。lols

不过没有和你吵架。。
很沉默很沉默地。。
自己生闷气。。
又自己好了。。
连我自己都找不到生气的原因。。
ridiculous？

又难为你了。。
对不起。。
我又错了。。

就快1年了。。
所以对你不好了？
没有。。
不会。。！

或许又是太sensitive了。。TT
明明没事都要无理取闹。。
就因为不甘心你focus在游戏？
然后一直打扰你。。
不过当我觉悟时已经太迟了。。
你。。已经不开心了。。
我。。又sot了。。
又被影响了。。

女人是一种精神质的物体。。
1. 你不开心 > 她又不开心
2. 认为你不开心 > 她又不开心
3. 你不爽 > goto 2
4. 你不说话 > goto 2
5. 她自己不开心 > GG。。
没得救了。。

所以？
不知道。。
一片空白。。
i hate myself..
noob Carol..

">__<"

最近的心情反反复复。。

不知道为什么。。

明明这一秒没事。。

下一秒突然很down T___T

我不要这样。。

又是自己想多多。。

我很无奈。。TT

为什么。。

和你chat。。

明明没有事。。

又突然不说话。。

因为不知道reply什么。。

有问题了吗？

不知道。。也不想知道。。lols

我只想静静的。。做回自己。。

这个sem和上几个sem都非常不同。。

非常多事情发生。。

搞到你我都不开心。。

我不喜欢这种感觉。。TT

为什么这个世界就这样。。

虽然看到你。。

会变开心。。

不过只是短暂的。。

稍微说到什么。。

又陷入沉默了。。

为什么为什么。。TT

又是我太sensitive吗？

什么都care。。lols。。

又或者是一年了。。

所以就这样了。。

normal的吧。。

每天说顺其自然。。

我自然不到啊。。

T______T

今天不要顺其自然了。。

得过且过？:'(

啦啦。。

终于有休息的空间了！
好累好累。。LOL。。
差不多每天都会这样说
不过在累的同时。。
生活过到很充实 xD
不会有多余的时间去瞎想。。
不会太在意某样事情。。
不会乱乱哭。。
因为根本没有时间哭 LOL

这几个星期都是考试期。。
都不好玩的。。
每天不得好睡。。TT
认识你过后。。
我很不解，为什么睡那么重要。。
我甚至认为睡觉是多余的。。
不过。。11个月来。。
我已经慢慢的理解了。。O.O
原来我很需要充足的睡眠。。
原来我一直都很喜欢睡觉。。
原来我一直都在死撑。。

都是test和assignment的错。。
全部一起来的。。
害人家没有时间cover。。
被逼开夜车。。
被逼熬夜。。TT

之前sem 1到sem 3。。
会非常care考试。。
明明已经认为自己可以的。。
还要担心考试答不出。。
我就是这样矛盾的了。。><
所以逼自己读到人不像人
鬼不像鬼。。LOL。。

现在？想通了。。xD
读书慢慢读吧。。
看开一点。。O.O
对自己confident一点。。
life become easier ？xD
有的睡就要尽量睡。。
因为时间真的不够用。。

whatever ～
let the bygone be bygone ～
过去的就让它过去吧。。
人应该向前看。。xD
最后还是要说。。
我爱你建隆！♥
谢谢你带给我的一切。。

累？

O.O 经过了这两个weeks
终于体会到那种 “累” 和 “赶” 了。。
太多太多的test。。assignment。。
连喘气的时间都没有。。@__@
更何况是想男女私情。。lols
说是说没有太过在意你开不开心
其实也是会很在意。。＝＝
人就是这样矛盾的咯。。haiz

这两个星期，我又变了。。
有一点点也是学你的吧。。
考试不再那么拼命了。。
有的睡就立刻睡。。就算只有1小时
早上不再早早起身。。
可以拖的就拖。。LOL。。
9点上课可以8.45起身。。xD
早餐？麦片？什么来的？可以吃的吗？LOL
冲凉？吃饭睡觉的时间都没有。。
总之。。所有以前说要做的都没有做到。。
Carol你又失败了。。haiz。。

回到我的dear。。xD
不知怎么我又sot了 ＝＝
因为我又feel到你不开心？
perhaps又是我想太多？
">___<" yerrrr。。。
其实我已经把心思放在其它地方了
可是还是会很care。。
为什么你不开心？or。。
你没有不开心，but为什么爱理不理？
所以。。又是我做错某某事了。。@_@

你说住宿舍好，我说不喜欢自己住 o.o
其实到最后也是会自己住的咯。。
之后妈妈又说住宿舍好。。
想了想。。其实我也很喜欢宿舍。。
空间大。。没有水电费的烦恼。。
不用和其它housemate搞好关系。。
不用做家务。。LOL
自己理自己的事就得了。。

可是。。姐姐硬硬要搬出去
嘴巴每天说：“我一个搬就好，你自己在宿舍”
可是昨天和她说妈妈叫我stay hostel
要搬她自己搬。。
她不是应该很开心吗？
丢掉我这个烦恼。。
可是她既然说：“你不搬我搬来做什么？！”
所以又是我的错？
每次一开始都是她说要搬。。
我本来都是喜欢宿舍。。
和别人share屋子肯定会有conflict。。

所以，以后我一定要有自己的家！
要怎样都可以。。xD
不过，梦想好遥远～
慢慢等啦。。TT

yerrr...i don like current situation T__T
why nowadays everything i talk can't seems to make u happy...
perhaps it is normal ? lols.. since it's already 10 months++
perhaps i'm failure..? i'm starting to make u feel annoy ? T__T
if it is, please tell me.. don't keep inside heart.. o.o
T__T this is just an emotion..i swear i won't cry anymore..xd

lols

nothing much... just a little hope ..

everyday I'm hoping and wishing you will be happy ..

all of your emotion can affect me ..

thus you became no emotion ...

for not letting me to think too much ?

anyways...

now i would like to have a wish for myself...

may the joy and happiness come back to me ..

i don't like the current situation ...

i need a happy Carol ..

as happy as kid ...

Hacked !!

fb被人换了密码 o.o

Jakarta的某某？

没有很gan jiong。。

反而很兴奋。。LOL

因为终于可以给自己一个理由

换掉password ！xD

之前已经有这个念头了

只是迟迟没有采取行动

现在被人hacked了

没有理由懒惰了吧？

之前觉得你的password太复杂

现在觉得其实也不错

可以记住一组重要数字+alpha不容易！

记得后会很有满足感。。xD

就好像programming。。

debug到没有error最开心。。

话说今天是java lab test。。

问题真的没有很难。。

如Ryan所说。。

只是setter getter。。

but。。

我可是读了一整个半夜。。

累到头晕晕。。LOL。。

差一点点就睡过头了。。TT

之后用了一个方法 xD

就变精神了。。xD

secret ... LOL

Lab test过后一个人去CITC

文杰过后也来了。。

你也来了。。O.O

我又feel到了。。

你不开心。。LOL

我的第六感真的不是盖的。。xD

接下来你就没有和我说话了。。

原来我又错了。。><

我会改的。。><

谢谢你又带我去lunch ～

虽然每次都是不知道吃什么。。

因为又是我的错。。

我什么都不可以吃。。lols

害你特地迁就我。。

所以每次给我选。。><

又要谢谢你。。

给我看清自己的缺点。。

以前的我完全不认为这些是缺点。。

出汗？天生的？

多病？身体虚弱。。

挑吃？有品位 LOL。。

厉害？努力的成果。。

骄傲？ 不要被人看低

不会选择？怕人家不喜欢my decision。。

看。。全部都是藉口。。

其实真相是这样的。。

出汗？每天精神紧张 ～

多病？自己拿来的，死都不会照顾自己

挑吃？被宠坏了。。＝＝

厉害？用健康换回来的。。＝＝

骄傲？心理作怪。。死都要show off ＝＝

不会选择？逃避现实。。因为知道自己stupid，什么 都不能吃！

所以，人每天都在为自己的缺点辩护。。

我也是人。。所以也不例外。。lols

我就是很多缺点。。

所以才会把可以做好的事做到更好。。

来掩饰自己的 “不够好” 。。

久而久之，就变成串了。。

因为有一点点小成绩

所以就一直show off。。

全都是因为 “好胜心太强” 。。

而照成你的不满意。。><

so..今天开始。。我改！

我要彻彻底底的改！

不会再show off了。。

不会再lanci了。。

女生本来就应该谦虚。。

是不是？LOL

为了证明我对你的 ♥ 

我会成功的。。xD

 Let's wait and see ...

Nothing gonna change my love for u ~

My Little Wish ~

This world is so big, and yet I met you...
Nothing is important as long as u happy ~
No more complaints.. no more request xD..
I realized I would do anything for u to be happy..
even put down my 尊严 to keep on sorry..
although it might not my fault sometimes...
(never do tat to anyone else, even family)
coz im tat kind 死不认输 de ppl...
but sorry doesn't solve the problem always..
u will still be unhappy o.o so how?
nothing I can do.. O.O

 So.. my little wish will be..
hope u stay happy n healthy always ..
 i like ur smile so much...
don't let it disappear please...
human are all selfish, n so do i...
To let myself happy, i want make sure u happy too..lols..

when i read ur sad post..
my heart is so pain... o.o
i can't stand it.. >_<
u keep on say u r fine
is that real? @@
watever.. i cnt control ur mind..xd

hope tat everything will be fine..
ur smile is my motivation to be happy..
but not fake smile..
 if i cant even let u smile truthly from heart..
im not qualified to be ur girl... xd

 so... cheer up dear...
bcoz i cnt afford to lost u...

无能的我。。TT

我们又即将10个月了。。
应该是快快乐乐。。
不过总是会有问题发生。。TT
而且还是自己搞出来的。。
我恨我自己。。
为什么会出汗。。
为什么那么多病。。
为什么有这种爸爸。。
为什么那么敏感。。
为什么无理取闹。。
为什么害你觉得自己是坏人。。
T___T
明明就没有大问题。。
却搞出了大头佛。。><

是我complain多多。。
是我gek到你了。。
是我害你不再开心。。
你说是你的错。。
我看是我的错。。
你说以后不会再说tired lazy
我听了更加担心。。TT
我以后不会再complain。。
我真的不想你不开心。。TT

今天6月1日。。
原本没事的。。
我又突然没说话。。><
因为我很心痛。。
看到你好像逼自己去改。。
其实你真的没什么。。
不用特地去改。。TT
我只想要你开心。。
好像以前那样。。TT
人生本来就应该enjoy。。

很厉害的。。
我又哭了。。
在lecture hall都敢哭。。
重点是在你隔壁。。TT
你不知道我又怎么了。。
为什么又不说话了。。
又不爽你了？
放学后你又gek了。。TT
很gek的问我。。为什么又不爽。。

没有。。我没有不爽 TT
我只是在blame自己。。
我后悔了。。TT
我给你照成压力。。TT
我害你激动了。。TT
你说。。gek多几次就分
T______T

照历史来说。。
我已经严重的gek你第二次了。。
除了对不起，我想不到我可以说什么 TT
看。。我是不是无能。。TT

伤风！

OMG。。要来的始终会来。。
我又伤风了 T___T。。
人家已经尽力照顾自己了！
每天睡觉包住紧紧。。
好像在sauna里面那样。。LOL
人算不如天算。。
就是败在冷气下面。。T__T
Grrrrrrr。。我发誓，
以后家里肯定不装冷气！！
我需要姜茶阿。。
mummy在哪里。。T__T

haiz。。不孝的女儿。。
平时不叫妈。。有事才来想念。。><
没办法。。生病时都是想妈妈的。。xD

anyways。。这几天很累！
你累我累大家都很累。。O.O
不过你还特地带我连续吃了3天的晚餐。。
都是姐姐不在的后果。。O.O
第一天吃Steamboat BBQ Buffet。。LOL
第二天吃Yong tau fu。。LOL
今天吃Nasi Lemak Ayam。。xD。。
一定又用了你很多$$。。><
对不起。。谢谢你。。><
我爱你。。♥♥♥

...

Anything went wrong ? Sure..
Coz life always goes unexpected ~
明明 nothing.. why the hell I create problem...
I shouldn't joke with u so much..
Coz u not sure whether I'm real or kidding ><
I should not complain also.. ><
But y u can and I can't ? lols
Perhaps it's my problem @_@

But I'm really disappointed just now..
Coz I just worrying whether u are unhappy..
but u suddenly say "i know i'm lazy la" ??
What else u wan me to say ? TT
I cant accept people 冤枉 me.. ><
Maybe u are unintentional.. o.o
Anyways.. sorry for ignoring u the whole journey back..
Coz I felt want to cry at that moment @__@
Sure u will think.. why always cry with such stupid small issue?
lol.. no choice... this is who I am.. TT

So sorry anyways.. TT I can't cheer u up...
I'm not good enough..
Always come out with stupid request..TT
Try to change...try...

btw..it's 9 months today..o.o
anything special ? nothing special..
whatever.. just wish u will be fine ~ that's all

Hehe..

woots.. my new semester has been started for 1 week le xD
I'm a year 2 senior now O.O what does this mean? LOL..
Have to be more hardworking for sure.. since it's gonna be tough..
So what we gonna learn ? Java ? OS ? IS ? (again LOL) and Maths ~
The last is Moral... LOL... need to deal with malay again..xDD
No choice.. our national language.. cannot be excluded in our syllabus right ^^

Hmm.. starting school is what I always expected.. since last year.. ^^
what's the reason ? u know i know LOL.. thanks to my love for u ♥
it makes me so passionate to go college everyday..
to wake up earlier 2 hours have my breakfast and bath ~
to meet u even just few hours.. to see u.. to feel u.. LOLs..
whatever... I just can't stop being normal.. as normal as in secondary school ><
my life seems like totally affected by u.. O.O
without u i'm nothing.. that's how I feel at the moment LOL
anyways... i'm still a happy person.. hehe.. my life is still wonderful ^^
because u have coloured my life ♥

thanks thanks thanks sooooooooo much .. dear..
so what to thanks so much? hmm.. let me list down xD
thanks for loving me..♥
thanks for accompany me..xD
thanks for bringing me out for breakfast/lunch/dinner xD
thanks for tahan my childish-ness xD
thanks for playing with me..
thanks for scolding me.. (i know u just kidding xD)
thanks for influence me..
thanks for changing my lifestyle..(to take care myself more..)
thanks for the gift u have given to me.. (lala..ring..pendrive xD)
thanks for chatting with me.. (even when u watching movie/video xD)
thanks for together with me..for 9 months (3 days to go xDD)
thanks for whatever u have given or sacrifice for me..(time..money..heart..xD)

I will continue love u... hopefully until the day I stop breathe.. ♥

btw..it's 4.12am right now LOL.. why am I still here LOL
i should be sleeping..(still say changed life style LOL)
okay okay.. I will be good girl... xD
good night dear ^^

痴情～

我又来了。。@___@
没办法。。时间过得很慢 haiz。。
明天 “ 才 ” 开学也。。应该早几天的！
那我才不会闷到要来写blog。。><

原本刚刚8pm打算睡到12am的。。
怎知。。睡睡下突然起身。。
看看时间。。以为是23.41。。
很兴奋咯，飞去开电脑上网。。
电脑boot完startup一看。。OMG。。
竟然是21.41。。失望-ing。。T__T
为什么不是十二点？？Grrrr。。
现在才10点。。还要等多2小时才看到你。。
看什么哦。。你说我是不是sot了？LOL
Nono。。这个叫痴情。。xD

想当天23号晚上。。姐姐约你晚餐。。
我一看到你就一直笑。。什么事哦？LOL
不知道。。也控制不了。。xD
或许是太久没见。。其实也不是很久。。
为什么我feel到好像过了两三个世纪？＝＝
驾车驾到一直笑的我差点就没看车了。。xD
好久好久都没有那种feel了。。很开心。。
原来太想念一个人会那样的。。O.O

写了那么长竟然还10.07pm。。What the。。
时间你就不能过快一点嘛？
为什么每次和你一起的时间过得特别快？
然后没有你的时候过得特别慢？LOL。。
不知道。。去问上帝。。LOL

okay啦。。说回今天。。我很乖叻。。
虽然迟起身。。不过也没有饿到肚子。。
我还特地跑下楼去canteen买饭给它吃！
喂饱饱了。。它也没有痛呱。。xD
这个叫做。。我对你好，你也对我好
不过晚上就没有那么好了。。T__T
我要吃yong tau fu。。姐姐死都要MCD。。＝＝
没办法。。我们去jusco咯。。吃MCD。。TT
她叫spicy炸鸡。。我不知道吃什么。。
因为不健康嘛。。不过又不要饿到它。。
所以偷吃她的鸡肉咯。。LOL。。
然后又没有水喝。。T__T。。她又叫Coke。。
没办法。。喝咯。。不然辣死我咯。。TT
之后不饱。。去买MCD雪糕吃。。OMG。。

肚子开始lao gai了。。＝＝
我也lao gai。。吵着回宿舍。。
她原本想买东西。。不给她买！LOL
因为今天jusco爆满。。很多人排队。。
我宁愿快点回去休息。。O.O
所以我赢了。。LOL。。回去咯。。

一天又过了。。xD。。
希望今天不要发作。。我怕怕～
我明天还要见你的。。><
上天很好的。。会医好我的。。xD
乐观是好事。。LOL。。
whatever。。为什么还是10.17 ？Arghhh...
算了。。我停！

心血来潮！

哇。。今天不知做什么。。突然想来回忆回忆一下 xDD。。
咋看之下，原来去年那五个月我真的mad的？
竟然可以每天保持写blog（虽然现在还是每天写日记啦。。）？
而且还写到比essay还长多多声 LOL。。sot的咩。。
刚刚去看回之前的post。。OMG。。看到眼花缭乱。。＝＝
原来我真的sot的。。xDD。。没有几个人可以比我更sot了吧？xDD
不过很sien的咯。。每天写爱来爱去的。。又一直emo emo。。
应该改一下下。。O.O 以后这里就拿来写废话吧。。
那些emo status全部塞进日记里面。。呵呵。。
而且我发现人家的blog都没有那么长篇大论的。。
我应该也要改一下下。。xD 短短就好。。LOL。。

okay啦。。说说最近的生活。。O.O
什么事都有发生。。不外乎是关于男人的？NoNoNo。。
女人也有的。。xD。。家人也有。。！
话说现在我已经在宿舍了，很兴奋，也很自由～
不像在家里那样。。pampered kid。。什么都是妈妈～
不是我想那样的！是她太关心我了！怕我发生什么事 ><
所以一两个小时就给我吃这个，吃那个。。@__@
这样一来想瘦都难了？LOL。。而且。。
她对我太太太太好了。。好到我觉得自己真的很像废人LOL
每天饭来张口，衣来伸手（当然没有帮忙穿衣LOL）。。
全部她做完了？我没得做 xD。。然后说我很像皇后？LOL
所以呢。。还是宿舍好。。至少全部东西自己来。。
自己找东西吃。。自己洗衣。。自己照顾自己。。O.O
不过这样也是会中招。。胃痛来了？＝＝

其实每次sem break回家啊。。都会引发胃痛。。
这个是我最最最不喜欢回家的其中一个原因！
因为她喂我喂到太太太饱了。。人家都说胃痛不能吃太多。。
她以为不吃会更严重。。所以拼命给我吃。。TT
好了。。痛死我了。。都不敢和她说。。
因为我要快快回来宿舍。。xD。。就和哥哥达成协议
23号就飞回来宿舍了。。O.O 胃痛还是会有。。
至少好过在家。。是不是？好了发作了。。
她又来了。。她非常非常担心。。我知道的啊。。
逼我回家。。说要给我吃这个那个。。omg。。
我怕怕。。我不要再乱乱吃了。。极力反抗！
她很失望。。and so do I ～
所以就这样我又呆在宿舍了。。

现在每天逼自己改变饮食习惯！
我已经在360度转变了。。！
早上起身就逼自己一定要吃。。
至少泡个麦片还是milo+奶粉。。
午餐也是一样也。。
平时死都不去canteen的我，刚才就去了！！
肚子你给我听好。。我定时给你喂饱饱
你最好也给我乖乖听话不要乱乱痛！
不然我就不要你了！LOL（怎样不要？）

终于发泄完了？xD Nonono。。
还是忍不住。。一天不想你都不可以！
我的dear啊。。辛苦了咯。。
连续做5天工。。然后还要开学上课 @__@
一定非常累的了。。><
前天竟然还去打扰你做工。。
其实我只是想看看你而已啊。。
没有奢望什么。。
只是“她”以为我很想和你吃东西。。
所以一直kacau你。。haiz。。
我是feel到你不开心了。。只是不知道原因
原来我的第六感不是假的。。xDDD
whatever啦。。no next time ～
下次就算是有机会，都不会kacau你了！
在旁边偷偷看其实更加high。。LOL

最后。。我还是要说。。
我超级想你的！
再肉麻都还是要说。。
I love You No Matter How ♥
Nothing Gonna Change My Love for You..
我最爱的建隆！xDDD

错了错了。。

I've made a serious mistake T___T Words really can hurt people.. So sorry my dear ">__<" I really didn't mean that way T__T.. I felt that u were hurt just now ">___<" by my stupid question.. u said "why u 2 also like this" .. i know what it means.. ">__<" sorry that i made u feel that way again T__T I'm really bad.. all of this started by me .. i complain always.. T___T.. I make myself suffer.. and so do u... besides sorry I don't know what to say... ">__<" why am I such a troublesome... Cry really doesn't help to improve situation.. just getting more and more suffer... T___T but I can't control the tears... what should I do? I feel shame for myself.. T__T Now I even not dare to open fb... I don't know how to face u... I don't know what can I talk to comfort u... T__T Sincerely, I really didn't want you to bb with me T___T I'm just afraid u will do that to me... T___T ... no more next time... i won't say it anymore... I'm worrying u... but u already told me before u won't tell out ur problem... becoz it will make me emo? u said u will settle urself T__T whatever... since what I talk also cannot comfort u... T___T ... why every sem break also like this T__T it's all me again... T___T I miss u too much.. think too much... and care too much... T___T before i always say want u to be happy... but i cant do it... so sorry.. i always make u emo... even just small thing... T___T now i know what is 茶饭不思.. coz i feel that way now... T______T no more appetite.. this 2 day my mind is just all about u... don't know why... i can't focus on any other thing... even my favourite programming T_____T... i hate myself.. i even think of disappear in this world... ">___<" but i won't do it... i know there will be many bad consequences... T___T but what can i do.. nothing i can do... i said won't let u got 阴影 anymore... I fail again... T___T u already feel that way right now... T___T but i really didn't mean that way T_________T 从头到尾 also didn't think of bb with u... T___T i'm just too 自卑... i always no confident... i scare u will bb to me... T______T now I even make u emo always... i scare u will feel very suffer... and this add on to my thought... i afraid that will happen... T______T But i would not want it to be happen.... T____T just now u said "u want is it" ... this sentences scared me... T___T I don't want i don wan i don wan... ">____<"... carol u fail... T_______T

对不起对不起对不起。。我错了。。T____T 

Sem Break !!

OMG.. it's semester break now !! What does this mean ? I have to struggle for 1 month plus... because I'm not able to see you ~ LOL.. Let's hope this month will be over very soon xDD Last few days was quite unusual and emotional.. moreover it's on exam period @__@ and the stupid period problem keep on occur ... it makes me super stress and uncomfortable ~ so I lost control O.O and burst out almost everything ~_~ that night was a sleepless night .. I've complaint so much to you suddenly... sorry my dear O.O i'm just a normal individual.. and not as optimistic as what I always act.. ">__<" What I've said are truth but unintentional ... sometimes truth should not be tell out as it might hurt others, especially those that loved you O.O Anyways.. sad moment had passed xD We already had a talk and settled the conflict ? Is that really considered a conflict ? LOL.. perhaps it's just too much of expectation.. I should not expect too much.. Well.. I've figured out the fact.. that is.. don't ever care too much.. be happy always.. ^^ everything is gonna be alright at the end ~ Although life is always not go as smooth as what we wish.. just face it with open-mind and don't ever be too stubborn and "over think" xD Over the 8 months (5 days to go xD) I have changed a lot and have different point of view, compared to before.. o.o I learned to tolerate and appreciate which I didn't even do throughout the 18 years of my life.. because I was youngest in family and over-cared ~ I do not have much friend though.. So I don't really care and appreciate others.. O.O I just treat people like how they treat me xD Until I date with you, I started to know to maintain a relationship is not easy O.O nonono.. I always know that.. So I interact with you carefully.. to avoid argue and conflicts xD.. But I used to be bad.. do not care people feeling so much if I'm not interested on them.. Instead, I care all about you.. LOL.. For you to be happy, I'm willing to hold on my temper and change anger into happy by thinking in another angle xD Yea I did that always.. So I do not angry on you so far.. mostly I will kept quiet but it's not angrying.. just a little bit unhappy? xD But you told me.. I do not have to tolerate with you too much.. I can be angry also.. O.O But I found out when you're in front of me, I will not be able to angry because all the things become positive once I saw you LOL.. donno how to explain Grrr... whatever.. You are unique to me.. xD I don't think I can find another guy which can make me feel this way anymore.. Even there is.. but it's not you anymore.. So I Don't want it to be happen !! I just want you you you .. Ang Kian Leong ♥ That's all I want to write for today.. xD.. Lastly, I super love you ! As much as I can ever think.. ♥

OMG..上到网！

已经有1个星期connect不到hostel line了也！！pek cek到我足足format了5次电脑！LOL。。还以为是自己电脑问题。。原来是line的问题Grrrr。。刚刚无意间connect了其他blok的line。。OMG。。竟然没有DC。。LOL。。平时是maximum可以上网5分钟。。就会立刻hang机。。之后一定要restart电脑才能继续connect其他network。。lols。。现在竟然online了一个小时。。xD。。兴奋了。。立刻去玩tetris。。draw something。。upload照片。。发泄心头之恨！LOL。。太夸张了吧。。＝＝。。whatever。。这次我不fully utilize我的rm40不就白给了？xD。。。可以上网喔。。当然来写一下blog咯。。xD。。你应该也不会那么快发现到的吧？LOL。。话说我的日记就快满了。。xDD。。。算到来。。写完4月就没有了。。LOL。。太快了吧。。5月开始要写blog呢。。还是买多一本新的日记？@__@ 到时再看吧。。anyways。。最近心情怎样？都算很糟吧。。为了assignment。。还有上不到网的事情烦。。心想。。为什么不好的事都一直发生在我身上？LOL。。不过不好的事都总算过了。。我相信。。明天会更好！xD。。我还要继续爱你。。继续对你好。。珍惜你。。♥。。我啊。。算是很幸福的女生了吧。。要什么有什么。。又有家人。。又有你。。而且还是leng zai。。xD。。其实已经很知足了！我每天都有在提醒自己。。一定要珍惜你。。因为我怕有一天我会像其它人一样。。失去了才来后悔。。我不要失去你。。所以啊。。我怎样都会好好珍惜你的！我说的就是你，洪建隆 ♥ 。。8个月就快到了。。才一转眼的时间也。。我们应该可以很长久吧。。虽然会有很多小小问题。。不过我是不会放弃的！你已经是我的了。。xD。。lalala。。今天又要谢谢你了。。特地来带我出去吃晚餐。。我说没有钱。。你还要请我吃。。">___<" 我真的花了你不少钱了啊。。不知道要怎样报答你。。我唯一能做的。。应该是对你好一点吧！xD。。我们又吃了Johnny。。RM36++。。很贵呢。。不过吃到很饱。。谢谢你啊Dear。。btw。。4am++了。。为什么我还不睡觉？LOL。。可能是前两天睡太多了吧。。LOL。。现在完全没有睡意。。@__@。。whatever。。距离final exam还有两天而已！只有两张paper。。english for science和marketing。。O.O。。英文肯定是不用读的咯。。marketing呢？要读。。而且还要memorize。。@__@。。whatever。。一切顺其自然吧。。考完试就sem break了！又要和你分开一个月++。。每次sem break我都活在痛苦中呢。。LOL。。甚至有时还想你想到要生要死。。LOL。。太夸张了吧。。对。。就是那么夸张。。＝＝。。我也不知道为什么你让我那么走火入魔。。莫非你有什么魔力？LOL。。whatever。。怎样都是要回家的嘛。。毕竟很久没有见到妈妈了。。也很想念她的说。。xD。。我会带lala回去。。把它当着是你。。xD。。希望这个sem break不会那么痛苦吧。。xD。。写完咯。。最后还是要说。。Every moment spent with you.. is the moment I treasure ♥ 7个月前是。。现在也是。。以后也一定是！！

不知不觉..

不知不觉7个月就过去了。。发生了很多事情。。有开心的，自然也会有不开心的。。这些都是正常的吧。。和你一起7个月的感想就是。。我很喜欢你 ♥。。你也对我很好。。和你一起都很开心。。虽然有些小小的问题每次搞到自己不开心。。不过比起其他情侣。。我们算是很不错了。。至少我们不会大吵大闹。。不会互相对骂。。lols。。那些举动太hurt了。。我做不出。。xD。。开心的东西通常都不会持久。。这个是事实吗？lols。。不知道。。我是很杞人忧天的。。每次没事都会给我想到有事。。这还不都是我太在意这一切一切嘛。。lols。。姐姐说。。要看开。。不需要想多多。。一切顺其自然就好。。不过我就是会想。。">__<" 。。每天写日记发现到。。空间不够。。有很多想写的东西都没有位子写。。还是blog比较好？想要写多长就多长LOL。。等我写完整本日记。。才换吧。。毕竟做事要有头有尾。。lols。。回到我们。。上个星期生日。。你前前后后陪了我三天也。。太好了。。之后你还送了lala给我。。那个我们在wangsa walk看到的bear。。第一次见到它，我就对它爱不释手。。而且还拿它来拍照。。因为今时今日很难才会看到那么可爱的bear了。。不过价钱超级贵。。接近90了吧。。而且又那么小只。。lols。。生日前一天。。我们去wangsa walk。。我找来找去都看不到它了。。很失落。。还以为被其它人买了。。">___<" 原来你买了！生日过后的一天才送给我。。很大的惊喜。。开心到不知道要怎样和你道谢。。所以亲了你一下。。">__<" 那晚下着雨。。你特地等到我父母载我回来宿舍后才叫我下楼。。很感动的也。。谢谢你啊。。建隆。。我知道你是爱我的。。可以感受到你的用心。。每次特地来带我出去吃东西。。我也花了你很多钱呢。。">___<" 为了不让你当心。。我已经学会每天吃面包了。。外人看起来。。我都很幸福一下。。nono。。的确是很幸福了。。有个酱好的男朋友。。那我还有什么可求叻？不是应该知足了吗？为什么还要搞到自己还有你不开心？T__T。。不知道。。这个世界就是这样公平的。。在我们开心的同时。。也会注入一些不开心的成份下去。。lols。。问题来了。。最近你都不开心啊。。为了身体的问题烦。。你很无奈。。我也很无奈。。lols。。之后我又一直换电话。。你又不开心了。。">___<" 假如现在可以选。。我不要换了。。我不想你不开心啊。。T____T。。今天我问你。。为什么变成好像另一个人了。。你说不知道。。就是看什么都不顺眼。。什么都不想做 ">___<" 这句话很hurt呢。。怎样hurt到叻？不知道。。就是一直联想到 “你看我不顺眼” 。。lols。。一整天我都在回想这个句子。。到底你是不是对我sien了？我们还会长久吗？你说和我在一起。。怎样都会compare。。例如。。我用的电话和你用的。。那以后这个问题还会发生吗？肯定会。。而且会越来越严重。。想下想下。。又联想到“会不会长久”这个东东。。haiz。。你看。。我就是这样的。。每天不懂想什么。。T__T。。在Jusco时。。你察觉到我不说话。。你问我在想什么。。我说不出啊。。难道又说。。怕你和我分开？lols。。最近我发现到。。说多错多。。所以不敢说太多了。。因为有时候。。我说什么。。都得到不好的结果。。渐渐地。。沉默是金。。lols。。我们也完全没有sms了吧。。今天早上突然想sms你。。就和你说了早安。。你也回复了。。只是语气和之前完全就不一样了。。anyways。。我不应该care酱多这些无关紧要的小事吧。。">___<" 只会搞到自己不开心。。回到上课。。英文。。又是做report。。之后就放学。。你叫我回去休息。。我一步一步慢慢走咯。。路上。。越想越多。。眼泪要出来了。。lols。。之后去买hostel internet的配套。。因为今天过期。。买完回房间。。立刻就cry了。。哭完后。。冷静了。。发觉自己很笨。。每次都是这样。。有事没事都哭。。很爽吗？lols。。或许这个就是我发泄的唯一方式。。我不知道要和谁倾诉。。只好这样了。。">___<" 哭完后。。人会想开一点。。比起那些动不动就自杀的人。。我算是很正常了吧。。@__@。。anyways。。哭了也没有怎么样。。事情也不会改变。。路还是要走。。人生还是要过。。只是会用不同的角度来看待事情。。每一次。。我都会提醒自己。。要对你再好一点。。不管你做什么事。。都要尽量包容你。。体谅你。。因为我爱你。。">___<" 所以。。我相信。。明天会更好。。因为人很健忘的。。第二天就没事了。。xD。。whatever。。这个post你应该不会在今天看到吧。。或许过多几天。。或者是很久过后。。那你就不会那么不开心了吧。。我写出来。。纯粹只是想要说出我的心声。。说出在和你面对面时说不出的话。。lols。。现在没事了。。想通了。。我还会继续爱你。。继续和你说话。。对不起。。冷落了你一整天。。">___<" 难为你了。。我还是爱你的。。洪建隆。。

Half Year !!

It has been 6 months.. which is equivalent to half year.. 说长不长..说短不短... we've experience quite a lot of things.. some are happy.. of course some are sad... but not too much.. ">__<" .. I'm still in love with you of course.. every month I will post on your wall .. why not today? ">___<" perhaps it's unnecessary for u? or it's not important? ">___<" sorry for thinking too much again.. I admit I'm really stupid and stupid and stupid... I always think so much ~ I hate myself.. lols.. Today wasn't a fun day.. ">__<" somehow it's more towards boring and dull.. I always think that I will sure be happy if I meet u.. So I wish I can stay with u always.. something like 24 hours although it's nearly impossible.. Unfortunately.. things weren't always goes as what we expected.. I'm finally clear about this.. even we meet each other everyday and together.. it must not always be happy.. lols.. perhaps it's the 6 months thing makes us become normal of the normal? lols.. obviously.. we don't have much topics anymore.. ">___<" so what? I still loving u as much as I always thought of.. ">___<" Just that my stupid mind always playing with me.. lols... You're not really cold... just that I'm too annoying.. xD I always talk to much ~ whatever ~ You asked me : "what else you want me to do? " lols... I didn't want anything.. ">___<" Exactly ! I don't know what I want.. lols... Perhaps I'm really too 天真.. I will try to improve myself.. ">___<" OMG.. I don't know what I'm writing now.. = = ... forgive me please.. T___T I'm unintentionally.. I didn't mean that you not good enough... You're good enough.. no one can replace .. ever... lols.. I guess you will be the most influencing person in my life.. xD I'll never forget u.. my dear.. ">___<" 1.44am.. it's the time which I told u the sentence "maybe we like each other, but nothing we can do" ... lols... my first time 表白 to a guy.. @__@.. anyways.. I always believe in myself.. u are my Mr Right.. !! I just don't want another 1... ">_____<" Just u.. okay? Finally.. I got nothing to write anymore.. lols... what I wanted to tell u is already here.. no more nonsense.. ">___<" I will be Cherish of what I have.. and that's u.. ♥

I'm fine ~

Yes.. I'm fine.. honestly..!! Today was actually a normal day.. I do miss u, but not as mad as last few days.. which I was suffering from "luan luan think" this stupid act LOL.. perhaps it's because I've met u yesterday.. and I knew what I thought last few days was totally incorrect and unnecessary.. ">_____<" So sorry for being so emo always... and make u emo as well ">___<" My mind is clear after yesterday.. xD.. You said you didn't see me for a long time when we had our breakfast at desa setapak.. LOL you kept on looking at me xD.. I can feel you really miss me ne... xD.. maybe i'm wrong? O.O hope i'm not... anyways... I felt that I need the real you ">___<" instead of the 1 on internet.. ">____<" maybe it's because when on net.. we can't see each other.. can't feel each other.. lols... it makes me think of nonsense ">___<" ... lols.. so I always wish to see u .. xDD.. hmm... all of this will end after sem 3 start... woots.. because I can see u every 5 days.. in a week... xDD... Conclusion... yesterday was full of happiness.. and new experience as well... LOL... tongue? LOLLL... finally I have the courage to ... O.O btw.. it's fun and enjoy xDD I never think that it will be so fun.. xD thanks for trying LOL... btw.. I bought the shirt finally xD.. I ♥ KL ... woots... I will always ♥ u de !! hope u will be the same too... xDD.. ♥ urself also not bad ma.. LOL.. undeniably.. I was smiling all the day yesterday ~ it won't be happen without you.. xD just like today ~ LOLs... today I was really nothing ">___<" but just missing u... I didn't eat for dinner because the restaurant was nothing interested LOL.. it was full of fried thingy + maggie mee LOL.. But you thought I emo again ">___<" Or maybe yesterday I said u was cold when in fb... so you think that I emo because u didn't talk much with me? ">___<" nonono... Sorry that I make u feel guilty ">___<" I didn't mean that way... ">___<" I'm just love u too much.. So I always care too much... even just a little nonsense... ">___<" anyways.. We're fine finally ~ xDD I didn't unhappy ~ Still ♥ u as usual... as much as possible xDD... we played maple again... xDD.. and we created new character... woots... 520CC n 520KL... xDD.. 4am?? OMG... I'm gonna meet u soon... hehe... I really miss u so much dear... You asked me whether you are not good? Nooo... You're already very good... near perfect ... for me.. !! Even though there's no one is perfect... But I will rate u at 99% as a good bf !! xDD... whatever ~ 3 more days... then we're half year ♥ not much to wish... just hope that we're fine and stay healthy always... xD I want to be healthy !! to have a healthy baby !! LOL... isn't it too fast? whatever ~ I just want to have kid with u xDD not any others.. lalala... it's real !! I wrote it honestly !! xDD.. okay.. I know we will be fine.. just don't think too much Carol !! and good night.. ♥ Love u Always Kian Leong ^^

^__^

Undeniable I'm quite excited today ! Why? Because I can get to meet u again ♥ Moreover.. I'm gonna meet your mum too @__@ It's the biggest challenge for me? think so.. because I've never go through this before.. I mean.. meeting bf's mum ">__<" I was damn panic yesterday.. I can't even fall asleep.. @__@ Perhaps my sister had went to someone's house .. or I think too much about ... LOL.. the hostel is super scary ">___<" You can't imagine the whole block only 1 or 2 people left in the hostel ">___<" Of course I'm scare... yet I act nothing happen LOL.. I kept on trying to focus on something... watching movie... writing diary... to make myself not so scare @__@... I don't want to let you feel worry.. So I told you I was fine xDD.. I said I would go and sleep.. xDD.. after I off the netbook.. I went on bed.. and listen to music.. O.O I tried to sleep .. with all light switch on LOL... perhaps I scare ghost? xD.. after few hours.. I realised that I can't fall asleep = = ... it's 4am.. I open my eye big.. and hope not to hear any sound from outside LOL... if there's sound from outside .. something terrible will occur LOL.. luckily God treat me not bad.. xD I pass this terrible night peacefully.. without any disturb.. xDD... I miss u seriously !! But I not dare to sms u @__@.. I should let u sleep well.. xD.. So I closed my eyes... and tried to sleep ~ 7am reached O.O alarm was shouting LOL.. I quickly off it.. my sister haven't back to room ">___<".. I quickly sms her... she say 7.30am only back @__@ ... no choice.. I continue sleep... actually I'm cheating myself.. I can't sleep !! I'm thinking something on my mind ~ don't know what to think so much LOL.. finally she's back to room ~ xD I'm safe ~ Now I can sleep very well... but just 2 hours.. O.O 9am I went to bath.. xD 10am I sms u... and you just woke up.. O.O we wait for Eric to come fetch us ~ O.O reached your house at 10.30am.. think so... You came down to bring us to your house ... OMG.. I'm super panic.. ">___<" Reached your home.. went inside.. and saw your mum.. she's nice.. I greet to her and she smile.. xD We stay there until around 12pm.. my sis and eric went out.. they going for tuition... and left me in your house... together with your mum and u.. @__@ gan jiong-ing... she started to talk to me xD.. A friendly mum.. ^^ Then.. we went out... at the ground floor.. we saw your dad... xD .. he's just back from outside... looks nice and friendly too xD.. You told him I'm your girl friend O.O ... heart beat x100.. LOL... we're finally become public xD... thanks for introduce me to your parents.. We'll be more stable after this right? xDDD... that's what I want ^^... back to the story.. xD You fetched me to Wangsa Walk.. O.O We have a movie there... in 3D !! my first time viewing 3D movie in cinema... xD.. although the ticket is a little bit expensive... but it's okay... xDD whatever I do with u is worth and I like it.. xD.. but what was terrible is.. the cinema is super COLD ">___<" my hand and legs was being iced.. LOL... lucky you keep hold my hand and warm it.. ♥ thanks so much dear... You treat me so good ^^ I will love u always.. xD.. After movie.. we walk around there... going to book shop... buying 棉花糖... xD We ate the 棉花糖 together... just like kids.. LOL... it's super sweet @__@... this will be the last time I ate it... xD.. then.. we went to yong tau fu there... I thought they are setting up the stall.. but yet they didn't = = we wait for 1 hour and eat nothing LOL... ">___<" you have to back home for dinner... but you still accompanied me to TBR and eat.. O.O I must appreciate you ! what a good bf that I have.. ♥♥♥ ... thanks dear ^^ .. why I write this post ? xD nothing much.. just want to release a bit of my happiness and joy.. xDD.. Hope that we can have a nice and peaceful relationship ever.. xD.. Lastly.. as usual... Nothing gonna change my love for you !! xD.. it's monday today... five more days I will back to hostel again ^^ the count down is gonna end !! hohoho... I can meet u again.. monday tuesday wednesday friday saturday... xDDD... most of the peoples wish to have more holiday... but I wish to open school... for? meet u of course... LOL... whatever ~ 9 days more... and we're 6 months.. that means half year O.O woots... isn't it fast? LOL... I wish it will be last for unlimited 6 months.. xD.. 3.29am.. I donno why I love to write at midnight.. maybe that's a habit.. ~_~ ... midnight will have much more feeling than the day time.. O.O it's what called.. 感触良多.. LOL.. anyways.. I donno how to express my love towards you beside writing this post.. so.. here it is.. xD.. Maybe you already familiar with "I love you"... let's say something different... I need you !! xDD.. sound more 依赖 right ? LOL.. whatever... I really need you ">___<" you have crossed into my life... for 6 months... please don't ever leave me... @__@ I'm used to your smile...your face... your love... your everything... ">___<" I can't leave you anymore !! It's hard to imagine when I don't have u by my side ">___<" so... I need you.. my dear kian leong.. xD... Please continue to paint my originally dull life with colours.. ♥ Last last last.. I confirm this is last.. LOL... I Love You !! LOL... just now who said want try something different? = = No choice... I really love you... as much as what I wrote.. ♥ hmmm... time to sleep... i guess... xD.. good night dear ^^

lala ~

abit Nonsense

">__<" 1.19am right now.. feelilng emo ? hmm.. not sure... i'm just too boring and came here to chui shui..xD so where's my diary gone? O.O It's right here.. on my table.. I just finish wrote it... I will write it everyday.. just like what I did for this blog 5 months ago.. I didn't break my promise.. I'm really writing diary everyday ~ whatever.. it's not important.. so what's important? O.O it's about me and u.. ">___<" we're fine.. sure.. a peaceful relationship.. u're my prince and I appreciated u so much... ">__<" u couldn't know how much I miss u 1 day.. it's like going mad.. ">___<" so why? it has been already 5 months + .. it should be plain and not passionate anymore ? no no no ...  I'm still in love with u... ">___<" still mad on u... although the way u treat me already different a bit.. coz that's what u said.. "we're already close, nothing much to be 介意" .. it's okay.. xD.. but I will still treat u as how i treat u 5 months ago.. ">___<" why? perhaps I scare to lost u.. perhaps i love u too much so i'm not willing to hurt u... be it accidentally or unintentionally.. lols.. but sometimes we didn't talk much.. O.O maybe u're busying... and i'm busying? definitely not.. I'm waiting .. and waiting.. and waiting... for? not sure.. ">___<" u couldn't know how much joy come to my face when I saw u online... and u couldn't know how despair i'm when u left.. ">___<" lols.. so.. why girls are so troublesome? I mean myself.. why can't I just fucking do my own things and enjoy my stuff... why the hell I like to suffer? ">___<" why I care so much? ">___<" I know u will sure be uncomfortable if u read this post.. O.O but i'm sure it's not today.. xD since I didn't write post for long time... maybe after few days... O.O if u read this.. don't be unhappy.. ">___<" I'm just releasing my thoughts..xD i will be fine tomorrow... ">___<"... that day u were unhappy becoz of the reason "i suffer for missing u" ... it's the same thing for today.. ">__<" I miss u.. really miss u.. but I don't know how to chat with u.. I can't bring joy for u ~ coz we're already 5 months... nothing much could make us feel excited.. when I'm with you..face to face.. the same thing happen... that's why i'm always hs.. coz I thought that it's the only way to create fun.. so that we are not boring.. ">__<" i know it's a little bit ridiculous.. but I can't find other ways to make u smile.. LOL.. whatever ~ it's not important anymore... I can't meet u now... T___T no chance to do so.. ~ 20 days to go for sem 3.. I will sure be super excited for the 1st day of class.. lols.. siao.. everytime also like this... it's like never meet u before.. ">___<" no choice.. i born to be like this.. sensitive.. emotional.. childish.. hs... troublesome... lols.. anyways... I'll be fine .. soon... xD I still love u.. more love.. i know u are the same too.. as I feel it.. from the 3 days u accompanied me before i back bentong.. xD.. I saw the folder on ur desktop somemore.. xD.. thanks for being my dear.. ♥ .. i will try my best to manage my emotion ~ try to focus on other things instead of being "too mad" on u... ">___<" I will still love u for sure... but just a little bit "cut down".. for this 3 weeks... ">___<" otherwise.. i gonna have nightmare for every night.. ">____<" sorry for selfishness.. O.O but I actually don't think that I can achieve what I said.. LOL... I will definitely back to the same "me" ... miss u and miss u and miss u.... lols... whatever... good luck Carol..

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