Just to update myself 🎃

yay fast forward to another year in life 🎃
it has been almost 1 year since my last post 🤭
reading blog feels like experiencing one’s life in fast pace 😂

okay how’s life after that? hmm...👀
changed my job 🧸
moved into new house (my own house 😍)
grew up ? lols 🤡 (ridiculous lols)
learnt to wash toilet 😳 (isn’t it....)
learnt to eat on time 🤭 (shouldn’t u already...)
learnt to eat alone and enjoy alone 🤐 (opps..)
learnt to take lrt happily 🙀 (why not happy...)
learnt to fill my own time fully 🤡

why sound like a after-broke-up-change? 👀
yes indeed 🤭 that tragedy really turn me upside down 🙃
but we are still together yay 🤪

not sure how long it will last 👵
not sure what is your thought either 💁‍♀️ (still cnt understand u after 8 yrs 😂)
not pushing anything 🙅‍♀️
and live like there’s no tomorrow 💃

how did i made the change above? 🧐
because one day i read somewhere on the net 🤨 (trusted source?)
it says “life is meant to be lonely, u came alone and you will go alone as well”
that sentence just strike me in the head 🤯

and thus i learnt the fact that i am lonely (feels lonely) and thats totally alright 😢
everyone else is the same though...(feels lonely to the point that we think no one will understand)
even if we have family / friends / lover, you still need to be alone to face most of the things 🥺
harsh truth 😟 but i finally learnt it 😏

yay congrats 🥳
you just had your second puberty 😂

my mind cant stop spinning whenever i am conscious
is like thousand of what why how when who is going on every minute 🤪
(and i literally google that random question that pop out every time)
seems like a gift to be curious at everything (bill gates also curious in everything LOL)
but at the same time also a curse to myself 😔

i can go very deep into just 1 question.. and stucked for a very long period of time until i get out 🥺
when deal w people i just control myself to not ask so many questions lol
but when i am alone my brain is at mad 🤪
that makes me a very emotional person.. 😔

example:
why i need to grow up?
- then turned into...
- why grow up is so cruel,
- why i cant be a little girl stick beside my mum anymore?
- why i go to work alone everyday?
- why i have to find food myself?
- how come the road to work is taking 1 hour plus?
- why is everyone looking at their phone on train?
- why are the people keep pushing me on train?
- should i buy some cereal in groceries store?
- am i going to be in the dark and silence when i die?
- how am i gonna live my life when my mum is no longer in the world?
- what will i do in 30 yrs time?
- will i still be with him?
- will i ever have kids?
- should i change job?
- should i get a new car or house?

so many random questions pop out at the same time 🤯
i wonder how is other people brain works.. 😔
did they just think of nothing while swiping phone?
or did they just live at the moment and don ask the brain so many questions 🤨

my brain should have hated me by now 🤩

good luck brain 🤓

from 🧸