It's me 😳

Today is just a normal day 🙃
Why I have not written anything after broke up? 😿
Because I scared it will happen any time.. now or coming months...

Yes we got back together..
You said for one last time...
If it is really not working out..
Then we're done.. 😭

Okay stories go like this..
We broke up and got back the next day after went through hell of crying...
And still continue crying silently for next couple of days
Plus weeks of thinking whether I have made a right choice..  🙃 (Because the 'get bck tgt' moment I'm not in calm mode, the finger act faster than brain without processing)

And yes.. After thorough consideration I have already appointed you as my first and last no matter the breakup happen again or not.. (Opps.. isnt it always that case? 😳)

And I have finally see through the relationship thingy.. I am not wanting for result anymore..(eg marriage, kids or future) I value more on the process now 😌

As long as we have experienced it.. There's no more regret if we didnt make it at the end.. 😿 There's only sadness 😳

Btw the heartbreak is real hurt.. I still cant forget the feeling.. and I tear automatically every time I thought of that moment. or when I sing the song 'Remember when' while driving to office (That's the song playing at the breakup day) 🙈

I wish I would not experience this anymore.. But life always throw lemon at us..so no choice but just deal with it accordingly.. 😿

So.. 1 sentence to describe my current situation? 'Live like there's no tomorrow'.. Try my best to nurture our small ship (relation) and hope it grow up stronger 🙃

They once said relationship will get stronger if u hv experienced breakup.. but there's another saying as well which is those who broke up will still breakup at the end.. 😳 I think it really depends on fate then.. 😿

Lets hope for the best 😏

From 🐻

the end of us.. 😭

today mark the end of our 6 yrs plus relationship.. 😭

my feeling is more than sad.. i cannot describe it.. i felt both of us hurts so deep... even u are the one who initiated..

i cant fall asleep even i did not think anything..
the thing that i afraid since the initial phase of relationship finally happens..

we have no fate.. 😭
we are destined to passed by each other...

tomorrow onwards i will lost u forever...
i cant get close to u anymore..
i cant hold ur hand..
i cant declare ownership..
i cant smell u...
i cant have future w u...
kai xuan is not happening..😭

i look thru the windows..
i see emptiness...

my heart is kosong now..

whats inside of me.. 😭

my tears dried and wet for N times repeatedly..

but growing up means life still goes on no matter what happened..

i still have to go to office tomorrow..
with my broken into pieces heart..
and a shell without soul..

life goes on..
sadness stay..
insomnia starts..

sad for no reason..

its 4am right now..
im actually very tired & hungry..
bugs cannot be fixed & so do i..
the moment i lie on the bed..
my tear started to roll..
why? for no reason..

tomorrow is working day!
and wat r u doing right now?
Y_Y seems like an emotional day..
is it bcoz of stress?
i have no idea...

just burst into tears when thought of mummy...😭

macam baby girl.. 😢
how i wish i am still a kid..
who can enjoy protection from her..
no matter what happen i feel safe.. 😭

i am not ready to be adult yet 😭
but all of us forced to grow..

with great power comes great responsibility..
i m just not ready...😢

i feel insecure...
and lonely..
in this big big world.. 😞

it's me again..

is this our final destination?
i can't stop crying...
i always know i will lost u someday..
i just cannot predict it was yesterday..

you said not to meet for weeks..
i think it is just another way to let me get used to life without you..

i know we will end someday..
but it is still so damn hurt..
i know time will cure..
but how i stop crying now..
how i going to work professionally next week..

i always love u no matter how u treated me..
but i know i am just not your girl..
i am not great enough for you to make a change in your mindset..
no matter how hard i try.. and how hard u try.. (i know u were trying..)

i am just too sad.. but i will take care.. no worries