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This is my favourite brownie!

2021年12月6日星期一

Status... change? 💍

 omg 说好的 stay tune next year 呢?😨😳

why am i back so soon?!?! must be something happened right?!?! right?!?!

it's just shy 4 months plus and I am here again!!

okay skip the boring sections like work + life which is basically the same forever 😆😅

and...


here we go...


i.....

am...

finally...


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 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! E N G A G E D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And picture time!!!


look at the victory pose of me that i did not share to social media 😆 

(but hey, no one is gonna raid your man LOLs)



and of course my favourite brownie must be at the scene!! holding the special 💍 !!!



we chose the 💍 together so i make sure that i like it 😂 (actually many people does that as well 😏)





and how it looks on my finger! diamond is not huge but i knew his love was huge 💗


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


sooooooooo how it all happened?!


since we had been together for 10 years.. and we also had N conversations about this topic (i mean who never talk about this LOLs)


and we kind of agreed that by end of the year it should be it (by we i mean he* 😅)


we are very different type of person and demand / 憧憬 different stuff! 👀


he insist that proposal should be a surprise but I actually don't need or don like surprise.. (human afraid of what they don't know and I take this to the max level 👻) 

I like everything planned ahead and follow the planning as I go, even when something random happen in the middle I can still adapt it (i'm actually quite flexible, but i just need to know the rough idea ahead!) 

how to explain it better? I like to know the movie ending even when I just started watching it 😂


so I kind of ask for tidbits every time we come close to the topic of proposal 😬


the more i asked, the more he is drained and exhausted, and it makes both of us down 😫 (thanks to my stupidity and personality! 💀)


knowing all my concerns and stupidity (after N times of emo for both of us 😂), he finally shared his plan with me!!! 


but he still decided to keep certain parts secret as he still have to answer to his own needs (the surprise part)


so i knew the exact day itself (so we can apply for leave 😂😂)


then i knew it is not at home (coz he knew i wanted special place with some decoration 🙈) but i donno where is the exact location until the actual day! 🥶


i also told him i dont want to be wearing fitgear clothes (the sport clothing that i wear everyday 😂😂)


then we went for 💍 shopping together! 


after viewing few shops and learnt some new knowledge about 💎 and at last chosen the one in SK jewellery 🙈


we asked for the smallest and cheapest 💍 🙈 (coz originally i am not a fan of 💎, i actually don't mind if proposal ring is not with diamond but with 🐻 😂😂😂)


and just so happen they have my size for the ring pattern i chosen! then we go for it! 😍


after the one-time-trying on my finger, then i never have the chance to see the 💍 anymore! (until actual day! 🙈)


when back to home he keep it hidden in his cabinet and i have to assume i didnt know the existence of the 💍 🙈


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


here come the actual day!!


we went out around 11am and while he driving i asked where is the location, he said is grand hyatt hotel 🏨 


so my hand itchy starts, i go to booking dot com to search the hotel and see the different types of room..


then i saw there is garden giew and tower view, so i asked him did u book tower view? (coz last time i did mention if choose near klcc must choose tower view! 🙈)


he say no, and he seems like donno there is tower view option, i started to feel emo as i thought he is not putting alot effort into planning this (which is the opposite 🥺)


then we went for lunch at klcc (din tai fung), we didnt order alot becoz I said i want to look slim 😂😂


he asked why am i emo and i told him my thoughts 🙈 (and this hurts him to the max.. so sorry 🥺)


at that point of time i still didn't realized that it hurts him so much lols.. stupid me.. 🙈


then i realized that as we walk back to car park and went into car.. it was a very sorrow moment (due to my stupidity 😞)


he pour out his thoughts and show me the vulnerable side of him 🥺 (at that moment my heart was torned into pieces because i 竟然 hurt him so much 🥺😭)


i have no idea what i can do to make him feel better 😞 


so i just hold his hand and tell him i really misunderstood him and i am really sorry 🙁 


(being an 好胜 adult it is really tough to say the apology words but i forced myself to... because thats the only thing i should and must do! 😔)


if you are Highly Sensitive Person + INFJ and you hurt people you are actually hurting yourself too 😧 


so i cried as well, i cried so hard to the point that i feel i don't deserve this guy (bcoz its a shame for me to make him cry 😢 and i didnt see this before in the past 10

yrs, at least not that serious 😭)


in my brain i am actually thinking 不如就算了,放过他放过大家就算了?since we seems so suffer and cant understand each other.. (no, its just me who not understand him 🥺)


"he had already made great effort, and made up his mind to willing to spend his life with u, how can u think of this irresponsible act?"


all this thoughts wander in my brain and makes me cry non stop 🥺


love is tough 😢


minutes gone, and slowly i started to calm down.. (which he already calm down long before i went into that mad crying session 😂)


then i said to him, i dont want to make him cry anymore, because it breaks my heart 😭


then we proceed to hotel after settling our emotion 🏨

(but my eyes are red 🐼) 


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


after checking in hotel (he did request to change to tower view! with just extra rm80 😂, and the room is spacious and nice 🤪)



we rest for a while and went out to pavilion (so the decorators people can come to do the magic! 🤪)


we walk around, gone to coffee bean ~ then go for dinner


after dinner at HoMinSan, we bought a flower 🌹 and a wine 🍷 and bring back to hotel 🏨  (and the decoration was finished just in time!)


 originally we plan there is just the two of us with the photoshooting (i have requested i wan a video recording 🙈 so greedy me 🤪)


his church friend guess that he was going to propose and offer help to do photoshooting for us 🙈 (because of my IG stories of hotel maybe 🤔)


so we went back to 🏨 and decided to do the actual round of the proposal first before his friend arrive 🙈 


to prepare my mood, when we arrive parking of the hotel, i ask him to go up first and i wait in the car 😂


then he went up to see the decorations & also to move my brownie 🐻 to the sofa 😂 (originally brownie was sitting on bed 🛏)



then he came down to bring me go up, i was so nervous 🤪 😬


when the hotel room door is opened and i walked into the room it is even more nervous!! 😱


cant believe it is gonna happen!!! 🤪🤪🤪 (the day i had been waiting for past N yearsss)


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


1 of the decoration fell down, and he quickly stick it back to the wall


then adjusted some balloon position 🎈 


and move me to the middle of the place 😳


and he play the song "Marry Me : Bruno Mars" in his phone


guess what i am doing? my brain was empty and cant function 😂


then he walk towards me...


ask me what should we do now


i tell him perhaps say some words ? 😂 words from the bottom of his heart


then there he go...


the actual words might be missing (the following is purely based on my memories 🥺)


"Chiew... Ca....rol,erm。。希望你感受到我的用心for这里的布置。。接下来我们可以一起走下去,一起生孩子。。一起活到老。。希望你可以接受我" (before he finish i already burst out crying 😭 probably due to the stack of emotion from past 10 years all at once! 😱 and also the bruno mars song!)


then he say "哪里有酱快的?!” (he means where got so fast cry one 😂)


then he continue while kneeling down "请问你可以嫁给我吗?” with a very sincere face that i can sense abit of 不知所措 in his eyes


i stunned for a moment (same like the stun when he first kissed me 🤪)

then i say "可以"

 then he put the 💍 on my finger 🤪🤪🤪🤪

(and i heard him saying 几怕你说不可以 which afterwards he said he didnt say this 🤪)


after i calm down, while waiting for his friend

its my turn to give him my words 🙈


then we move to the middle place again 😂😂

i hold his hand and i said (might not be actual words again, it is just based on my memories and my actual thoughts in current moment at the point of writing this post 😂)

 "谢谢你做的全部这些东西,谢谢你到最后还是选择了我,我知道我们两个原本已经要放弃了😭可是你还是选择和我一起走下去 😭😭😭 对不起伤了你,我以后都不想再弄你哭了😭😭"


another round of tears again 🤪🤪🤪


for how many times I have thought of being dumped or breaking up, and that's how many tears I drop in 1 single day! 😭 爱情真的虐心! 


🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


after that, his friend arrived and helped us to do alot of photoshooting 😍


he also helped to shoot a staged proposal video 😂


basically he said the same thing but just lack of the 生孩子 part (bcoz he shy) and for me lack of the crying part 😂😂😂 (bcoz i am out of tears 😂😂😂)


everything else was similar 🙈


and thats it! the end of the dramatic proposal day! 

😂😂😂


then he sent his friend down to lobby and back, and we just have shower and rest ~


and ofcourse sharing the big news to social media 😆 and getting non stop notifications from phone all night long ~ and it persisted for few days 🤣🤣🤣


----------------------------i am breaking point----------------------------


there it goes, once-in-a-lifetime sweetest moment of my life, engaged to the love of my life 😘


Thanks for everything Mr Ang 😍


Still the same sentence:

"Every moment spent with you, is a moment I treasure"


I said this 10 years ago, I say it now, and I will say it again in coming decades 🥺😍


Oh ya, upgrading status to Engaged in facebook has the same excitement as when I change the status to "in a relationship" with you 9 years ago 😆 (we decided to only make it public on facebook after 1 year of dating last time 😂)


Lastly, 我爱你 洪建隆 ❤️




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